If only we were still a nation of shopkeepers, as Napoleon not-so-politely pointed out. At least then we might have a chance to spend some quality time talking to each other and our loved ones.
It seems that the demands of modern living have heavily squeezed the opportunities for couples to communicate – such that 82% only really get time to talk when they are tucked up in bed, a survey reveals.
Indeed, an average of 50 minutes on week nights – and 70 minutes at weekends – is spent bantering in bed.
But what great subjects are being discussed in this duvet dialogue? Napoleonic history it aint…
TOP PILLOW TALK TOPICS
1. Gossip (29.7%) 2. Family (15.4%) 3. Your relationship (12.2%) 4. Friends (11.8%) 5. Money troubles (8.2%) 6. Sport (8.1%) 7. Work (7.5%) 8. Television (2.4%) 9. Politics (1%) 10. Nothing at all (0.6%)
Five more bedtime rituals from our resident experts…
Put the kettle on for a cup of herbal tea about an hour before bed. Experiment with different types of caffeine-free tea – but chamomile has been seen since ancient Egyptian times as an excellent source of relaxation. Steep the tea bag for a few minutes, or try the loose-leaf stuff – which comes from parts of the Matricaria recutita or Matricaria chamomilla plant. (Dr Carina Norris, nutritionist)
Visualisation time. Use all your senses to take you off into a peaceful place. Imagine you’re on a tropical island. How would the warm breeze feel against your skin, how would the flowers smell, what would the waves sound like? A vivid visualisation can really trick your mind and body into believing you are really on a beach – and send you peacefully off to sleep. (Tara Inchbald Holt, holistic practitioner and nutritionist)
Make a dream wish list with your child. Trace their hand with a felt tip and in the palm of the hand write down what they would like to dream about that night. It’s a fun way to spend time with your kids and send them off to bed with a smile (and maybe even on time). (Ian Wallace, dream psychologist)
Write a letter. Yes, actual paper and pen -- to a friend or relative who lives overseas. The act of writing – whether a diary or letter – has been shown to lift your mood and clear your mind ready for bed. (Sleep Council)
Try child’s pose, a simple yoga posture. Kneel down and sit on your heels. Part your knees a little. Gently walk your hands forward, cross your forearms and rest your forehead on your arms. If you’re pregnant, injured or if it causes any pain don’t do it. The pose stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system and so is good for slowing the body and mind down. (Anna Ashby, yoga teacher)
What is the most extreme situation you and your partner have had to endure for a night’s sleep whilst on your travels? Ever got close to three sleeping bags?
What on earth happens to bedtime when you are quite literally at the ends of the earth -- and you can experience 24 hours of daylight and darkness? We can draw on the wisdom of two British scientists who’ve lived in the Artic…
Dr Helen Findlay -- from the Plymouth Marine Laboratory -- has been part of a team of scientists studying the effects of rising atmospheric carbon dioxide on the waters of the Arctic Ocean as part of the Catlin Arctic Survey.
“Bedtime in the Arctic is different to here in the UK depending on the time of year. In summer it’s 24 hour sunlight and so it feels like there is no natural ‘bedtime’. In winter it can be 24 hour darkness, and so sometimes you feel like you just don’t want to get out of bed!
“Depending on where we are staying when doing scientific research in the Arctic, we will experience different temperatures and need different preparations. If I’m staying at the cosy research base in Ny Ålesund, on the island of Svalbard, then we have warm heated cabins to live in. So the temperature can be freezing outside but we prepare for bed in the normal way. When we are out doing fieldwork, living in tents, that’s a different story.
“This year we slept in unheated tents on the sea ice. The temperature outside rarely rose above -20 degrees Celsius. It was very easy to get frost nip on our fingers as we prepared our three layers of sleeping bags at bedtime. We would prepare for bed by eating chocolate, filling up water bottles with boiling water and putting them into our freezing sleeping bags to heat up, before we scrambled to remove our outer jackets and clothing layers and then snuggle into the sleeping bags.
The locals stick to routines but these can change with the seasons. They tend to use the sunlight to allow them to do things in the day. Naturally they would do less in the cold, dark winters because it’s difficult to get out to harvest food or hunt. They would make the most of the long summer nights to hunt for longer and to go further afield. Bedtime tends to be dictated as much by darkness and light as by how tired you are and what you are doing, as well as where it’s possible to find a safe place to sleep.
“Bedtimes change with the seasons in the Arctic. Local culture will affect when we go to bed, although the number of hours sleep is still important. In summer, especially, I find it can be easy to not get enough sleep because you want to be active all the time. But eventually, if you don’t have a routine, you get tired enough that you have to sleep to catch up. As societies modernise, there is the need to stay in sync with the rest of the world that does tend to have set bedtimes. Communities that traditionally live by natural sun hours, having their bedtime dictated by this, are changing to the western, electricity-regulated bedtime hours that the rest of us seem to live by.”
Helen talks about her Artic work
Dr Richard Waller -- a Senior Lecturer in Physical Geography at Keele University -- has himself spent time in Alaska and faced those dark, dark winters.
“People tend to spend more time in bed in the winter because it’s dark and extremely cold and there’s nothing much else to do. I’ve heard rumours in this respect that the majority of children are conceived in winter as a result but I’m not sure if this is an Arctic myth!
“The temperature makes getting to bed much more laborious and time-consuming when camping in winter, that’s for sure. With the air temperature being so cold and you having to wear so much clothing, you need to get everything organised in advance so you can limit the amount of time it take to get out of your outerlayers of clothes and into your sleeping bag. The impact of temperature can be more obvious in the morning when you’re trying to get your frozen boots back on or brush your teeth with frozen toothpaste!”
